Yesterday was a rough day.  I knew before I ever left the house that it was going to be a bad day.  Before I ever left the house I was having a Murphy's Law kind of morning.  If it could have went wrong it probably did.  A little voice in my head said, "Call in sick."  But, I didn't call in sick because I wasn't sick.  I went to work.

When I arrived at work, I went to the staff kitchen to put my lunch and dinner away, and there it was.  It was just sitting on the counter.  It could have been a package of crackers, but I just knew that wasn't what it was.  I actually stopped dead in my tracks and leaned back to get a better look.  Yup.  Chocolate chip cookies.  With great determination, I picked them up and hid them in the cabinet.  The problem was that I still knew they were there.  They called to me all damn morning.  When I went down to the corner store to get some drugs caffiene, the craving for Reece's Cup - hell a Hershey's bar - ANYTHING was stronger than it usually was.  Finally, lunch time arrived, and I was starting to feel like I was back under control.  Then, some well meaning woman showed up at our front door with three BIG BOXES of Little Debbies. 

And, that is how I ended up locked in the bathroom, crying on the phone to another OA member, and desperately digging through my OA books looking for something - anything - that would get me through.  One thing is becoming clear - I desperately need another job.  Not only because this one doesn't pay worth a damn, but because this place is unhealthy for me.  People drop junk food off here all the time thinking it's a good deed.  It's constant temptation, and sooner or later, I'll probably end up giving in.  Just like an alcoholic working in a bar will eventually give in.  It doesn't matter if I get the intern or someone to put it away where I can't see it.  I know it's there.

Then, this morning, I simply couldn't drag myself out of bed to go to the gym.  My entire body aches.  It's like withdrawal all over again, and I didn't give in.  I did manage to ride my bike to work, and I have to go to the gym tonight because it's Biggest Loser night.  Tomorrow I have to work at Ye Ol' Evil Part-time Job.  We're still on 4- 11.  I need the money from this crap job, but I really don't know how much longer I can stand this 4-11.  It's too much.  That's 15 hour work day for me, and 5:00 am comes really early in the morning.