One of the first things I heard in OA was someone say that being in recovery changes your relationships.  Okay, I get that - an alcoholic in recovery can't go hang out with his drinking buddies.  At the time I heard it, I was still too preocupied with thoughts of never having another Reece's Cup or another medium rare steak for as long as I live to contemplate the possible change or even loss of relationships.

Almost as soon as I made up my mind to deal with this issue, I had a huge fight with my sister over it.  I mentioned in my very first post that people resist change.  My sister doesn't want me to change.  My four year old niece doesn't want me to change.  She still wants me to be the same aunt that takes her to get a treat after ballet every week.  She's been very upset and telling EVERYONE who will stand still and listen to her, "Aunt can't have sugar anymore."  Folks, this is a four year old.  Children are supposed to be adaptable and resillient.

Since I've started this adventure, I don't eat out.  I actually try not to eat at other people's houses unless I bring my own food.  I have a friend I used to eat out with a lot.  So, the change in my routine has forced a change in hers.  This person is also quite heavy.  So, Saturday night, she asked if I wanted to go hang out at Barnes and Noble after I got off from work.  I didn't get off until 8pm, so that was well past supper time, I assumed I was safe.  I got to Barnes and Noble, went to the part of the store where we usually meet up, and she wasn't there.  I knew she was in the store somewhere, so I texted her to ask where she was.  She responded that she was in the cafe.  I can't go and sit in the cafe at Barnes and Noble anymore than a newly sober alcoholic can go sit in a bar.  I actually found just being in Barnes and Noble to be difficult.  I associate going to Barnes and Noble with getting a treat.  I texted her back telling her where I was and got comfortable.

It took her almost ten minutes to take the hint and come to where I was.  I didn't say anything about it.  I'm sure if I asked her what she was thinking, she would either say she wasn't thinking, or that she was thinking that the cafe tables were a damn convenient place to put her laptop.  But, I can't help but wonder if it wasn't a passive aggressive attempt to force me back into my mold, so that things can go back to like they were before.